I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
