Whod you bang
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
