come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
