we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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