4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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