I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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