Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
