So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
