you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
