hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
