She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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