I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
