Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My first STD was from a foam party
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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