idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
