bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
