think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Enjoy the penises
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
