Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
