Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
