Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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