He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He has the fingertips of a God
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
