Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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