I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
