Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she peed on how many people?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We are two peas in an std pod
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
