Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
