hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
