Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
