Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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