Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
