Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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