just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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