He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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