she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
