That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
