So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
