those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
