I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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