that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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