you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
