Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
