Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
