I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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