dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
