So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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