It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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