Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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