I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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