wat bout pragnant strippers??
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
