Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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