Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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