I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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