it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
