My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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