He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
