Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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