Me too!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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