They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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