I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
