she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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