i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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